Okay so I’ve decided to introduce a little something to Naj Me Tender where I’ll be interviewing the people in my life. May I present to you the first installment of the “Word on the Street”

1. Hey Sab. Okay so, what is the word on the street anyway?

the word is that work CAN be fun if you hold and judge silly contests/games such as ‘person who can come up with the worst smile’, ‘who has the lowest pants without dropping’, ’spot the grammar error on staff memos on the board during lunch break’ and ‘where in the mall is that customer who forgot to pass me the tag’.

2. What are you thinking of doing right now?

getting under a really hot shower. three days straight at work is the shit. and after that, i really, really, REALLY wanna go to timbre and just sit there for 4 hours straight with about six of my friends with whom i know i can talk shit about to and just chillax. hell yeah.

3. Would that thing that you are thinking of doing be made so much better by the presence of a goat?

hmm. HMM… no. wel, then again, maybe. but i’m not sure what timbre’s policy is on goats, or pets in general.

4. Please explain.

i mean, if the goat started munching on my creme brule or drinking my red bull punch, i’d be pissed. and really, a smelly goat is not a cool or nice way to relax.

however, if i were having a party, a goat would be fancy. hahaha, imagine all the possibilities. and if we ever get hungry, we can bbq it.

5. Can you remember what I gave you for your birthday last year?

a drawing of the jellyfish of love! i still have it. somewhere.

6. If you were put into a situation where you had to kill yourself and you had complete assurance that there would be 0% Hell involved, would it be via hand grenade or by threatening a group of cops in such a manner that they had to gun you down?

guns, definitely. i mean, if it were with the grenade, i’ll never trigger it. i’ll just go, ‘OKAY, i’m gonna pull it NOW. hehehehehhe. okay, okay, for real… NOW. hahahahah noooooooo i can’t!!!!!’ and what would i have possibly done to warrant having to be gunned down. hmm, that is a thought.

do the cops get to frisk me first?

and they better be those police in hot S.W.A.T uniforms. i’d die smiling.

but did you mean someone throwing a grenade at me? wow, that mixes things up. okay, if it’s being gunned down by hot S.W.A.T boys, i’ll choose guns. but if someone’s going to throw one at me, i might choose it cause it’s less pain. but i won’t see it coming and my life will be over just like that and i’d feel sad. like robbed of my time, you know. unless, of course, i see the person throwing it at me. then i just that could work. but i’d see the thing coming at me. in. slow. motion.

this is really thought provoking, naj. i’m going to have to think about it and get back to you in about 48 days.

7. Would you rather get syphillis or gonorrhea?

neither, thanks. i’d rather get me some chocolates.

8. If you didn’t have a choice and the best two names you could think of were Syphillis and Gonorrhea, which would you name your child?

syphillis. cause i can always call her/him syphil. if it’s gonorrhea, what’s a good nick name? go? norr? hea? gono? hahahahah gono. bono’s retarded hidden brother.

9. Why is a raven like a writing desk?

*throws hands up in the air* WHO KNOWS! no, really, i have no clue. i do, however, know exactly where everything is in the toy store. that’s a talent, right there, folks.

10. Sabrina, do tell me a really embarassing incident that could potentially happen just from your imagination. You can base it on a real life event, but the story has to include cheese or some other dairy product in it.

hahahahahaha you’re asking me this on purpose! i shall not give you that answer you desire, about sex in cheese. okay, okay, hmm, let’s see. haha okay, this is purely fiction.

so, one day, there i am at work right, maybe in the babies section, who knows, tidying up and all. and then up comes, say, chris, and he’s all like, ‘yo, where’s this toy?’ and i show him where it is cause i’ll know cause ten minutes prior to that, i would have been the one stacking and labeling them. so anyway, after i show him the shizz, he’s all, ‘you look thirsty’, to which i reply, ‘yeah, actually, i could use with a drink’.

AND THEN, he pulls on this leash that i hadn’t noticed he was holding (cause this is after all like a b-grade teen movie) and there is a GOAT attached to the other end of the leash. and chris bends down and starts milking the goat and we drink the milk and move on with our lives like that’s the most normal thing to have happened in aisle 5. maybe lube is involved, maybe not. i’m going to keep this pg. and give it more thought.

11. Do you happen to know what a ‘tapak sulaiman’ is?

star fish right? right? right! *cue game show sounds and music. and lights.*

12.  Do you know where I live?

jalan eunos. i think.

13. I’m sorry I put you through this, there are only a couple more questions now. What kind of animal do you think Goofy is?

like a tiger-dog mix. yeah. do not ask why. omg tickle me elmo extreme IS THE SHIT. it even does the one hand slap like bree in the mad tv spoof!

14. Is it possible to have bad teeth and still be good looking?

if you had no mouth, then yes.

15. On a scale of 1 to 29, rate how much you love Naj Me Tender.

526804.